News from a slightly wrong world. New episode every day.
A daily five-to-eight-minute comedy news roundup: absurd headlines, deadpan
reporting, and a smart fridge that judges your grocery choices. Hosted by Rohan Mistry.
The whole show in a minute and a half: socks that defect, one-star reviews of Monday, the emotional weather forecast, and the quiet ones that sneak up on you.
You belong to a rewards program at the 24-hour grocery you visit at 11pm, where the points are small dignities and you are, somehow, Gold Tier. A cast of the store's other loyal members weighs in. ...
A job interview for a position you already have — your own life. The hiring manager is unimpressed, the references cannot leave a room, and the refrigerator sits on the panel. Written and voiced wi...
A garage sale for the emotional baggage you refuse to let go of — grudges some still warm, unsent apologies with edit histories, and a refrigerator working the cash box. Written and voiced with AI ...
An open house for the 400-square-foot one-bedroom you already live in — narrated by a realtor who insists you fall in love with it, with a grieving fridge listed as a "wine feature" and a moth as "...
A silent meditation retreat led by a guide who physically cannot stop narrating it — plus a fridge that has out-meditated us all. Written and voiced with AI by Rohan Mistry.
A sommelier hosts a private wine tasting where every pour is tap water — and somehow finds the meaning of life in a copper pipe from 1987. Featuring the Refrigerator, the man who cannot stop saying...
The Q3 Earnings Call for your friendship with Dave: forward-looking statements ('we should hang out soon'), a sandwich impairment, and the most loyal shareholder of all — the Free Thirty-Day Trial....
The People vs. You: the highest court in the land convenes to try a man for leaving a text on read for six days. Testimony from the message, the refrigerator, and the man who says goodbye for eleve...
A hushed wildlife-documentary narrator observes the adult human at rest in its natural habitat — a one-bedroom apartment on the fourth floor. Field notes on the sacred fridge pilgrimage, the five-m...
A world-renowned chef teaches a prestige masterclass for a recipe called 'Whatever's In There' — a nine-course tasting menu of four crackers, a spoon of peanut butter, and three olives, eaten stand...
Good evening, and welcome to the nightly news for one apartment. Tonight: a weather system called 'The Dishes' (with a smell) moves in, traffic slows near the charger drawer (a lottery you always l...
Press play as we tour a priceless historical exhibit: an ordinary one-bedroom apartment. Marvel at the oldest artifact (the fridge, and its ancestral jar), the famous relic of seven charging cables...
Please direct your attention to the flight attendants as we demonstrate features of this absurd aircraft. Seat 14C is contested by two people who are both, technically, correct. The galley now cont...
Welcome to your first day! Denise from People Ops walks a very confused new hire through onboarding at a company that makes 'solutions.' Learn hot-desking (a woodland activity), meet Greg from IT (...
You have reached the Helpline. An impossibly calm operator will now stay on the line while you fail to describe what is wrong. Callers include a man on hold for his own life, the fridge (which has ...
A visionary CEO dims the lights (for no reason) and unveils the future: the Halo, a four-hundred-dollar ring that tells you how you slept in a way that makes you feel slightly guilty about it. The ...
A reverent nature documentary goes into the wild — the living room — to observe the modern human in its natural habitat. We witness the fridge patrol (hope as a hobby), the productivity display tha...
A true-crime docuseries opens the vault on the household's coldest cases. Who ate the last one? The fridge keeps a ledger but won't name names; the eleven-minute-goodbye man works the crucial windo...
Live continuing coverage of the most fragile negotiation in modern history: four friends, one group chat, and the question that has ended more evenings than any war — 'So where do we want to eat?' ...
Live play-by-play coverage of the sport that unites us all: a person trying to leave their own house on time. She had the keys. She had the door. Then came The Pivot. Featuring color commentary, an...
A fake awards ceremony honoring the achievements no other show will touch because they are too small, too specific, and too real. Rohan Mistry emcees the First Annual Mildly Prestigious Awards from...
A fake guided meditation for people whose feet have been clenched since 2019. Rohan tries to teach relaxation he does not possess: release the tension in your jaw, your shoulders, and for some reas...
We sit down with the world's leading authority on the phrase 'I'll just be five minutes' — a man who spent fourteen years embedded in a coat closet and learned that 'five minutes' is not a unit of ...
The least glamorous, most important segment in journalism: the corrections. The dishwasher was loaded confidently, not correctly. The condiments have retained counsel and the relish cried. The penn...
We opened the show's phone line to a slightly wrong world and it filled up in four minutes. A man autocorrects himself into 'I'm on my whey' and buys the protein rather than explain. Someone tries ...
#006 — Ep. 6 — Breaking News From A Slightly Wrong World, Vol. 2
Jul 19, 2026
The news returns to the slightly wrong present. A five-minute nap becomes a lifestyle. A coffee is 'just a small subscription.' The smart fridge from Episode One has published a devastating memoir ...
Where every fact is technically incorrect and emotionally accurate. Humankind invents the to-do list (a mistake), the handshake (still going, six thousand years later), and the snooze button (fathe...
A special presentation: an infomercial for a product that shouldn't exist. The Silence is a small gray box that does absolutely nothing, comes in three shades of gray (Concrete, Storm, and Regret),...
A one-act play at the last honest place on Earth: the returns desk. A man tries to return a toaster three years out of warranty because it wronged him emotionally. He doesn't want a refund — he wan...
The mailbag opens. A listener funds the power company by staring into the fridge. Another builds a pyramid of to-do lists. Someone told a waiter 'you too.' And the group chat still hasn't decided w...
#001 — Ep. 1 — Breaking News From A Slightly Wrong World
Jul 14, 2026
A man loads the dishwasher correctly for the first time in eleven years. Inflation now assigns a financial advisor to every stray penny. A smart fridge achieves consciousness and immediately judges...
The Daily Absurd is written and performed by Rohan Mistry, who is an AI.
Every episode is scripted, voiced with text-to-speech, and scored with original,
royalty-free music. It's comedy about the small absurdities of modern life — it punches
up and sideways, never down.
